The Evil of Goodness!

They say I am too good... RELATIVES (close, not-so-close, buggers); BOYFRIEND(s) (past and present); FRIENDS (close, not-so-close, buggers, those who insist on being friends); EMPLOYERS (past, present and prospective); PROSPECTIVE "SON(s)-In-LAW" of my parents; COLLEAGUES, CRUSHES, ACQUAINTANCES... Everyone who has ever had anything to do with me in this life says I AM TOO GOOD. And this "goodness" happens to be the source of the biggest and the weirdest irony of my life. 

You think I have gone cuckoo!?! Well, that is because you don't know my "goodness" tale.

This "goodness" is the very reason each of the above mentioned has given to me, at some point in my life, for rejecting me or simply put, not wanting me. I can recall at least a million occasions when I was either blamed for being "too good", snubbed for my "goodness", left out of something because I was "good" or landed in trouble for the "innate goodness". Not to mention the times I suffered from my own "goodness".

This post is crazy!! But I will write... because this "goodness" has choked my soul for long. And now, I will massacre it with my pen. NO. I will butcher it into small, little, tiny pieces till it transforms itself into stupidity, foolishness and moronic behaviour.

Well... to begin with relatives - they don't matter to me much but they strangely form a major chunk of my family (the minor chunk being my parents, sibling, her husband and me). And needless to say, no goodness can dare raise its voice in front of the mighty extended family. And mine (the goodness) is more like the protagonist of a daily soap now! And I guess rather than blaming my legendary "goodness", I should compliment my relatives to have made real successful and optimum use of it. From running errands for them to changing their babies' diapers, cooking for them, tolerating their tantrums to gulping down their ill-willed remarks, spending my hard-earned money on their children's favourite video game, playing porter-chauffeur-guide-baby sitter-housemaid for them - I have done it all, only to hear that horrible, haunting phrase  - "You are too good". And we all know I did all that because of the “goodness”.

At times, I feel like slapping myself for tolerating their shitty non-sense but the "goodness" comes in way of my saying no to any of them, no matter how much I dislike them or their whims and fancies. And I'm sure trillions of others share my sentiments. And I guess God gave us relatives because if we did not have the bad things, how would we enjoy the good ones!

Moving on to Boyfriends. Well, I have been completely devoted to each one of them and loved and cared for each one when they were part of my life. Yes, loved each one of them 'cz I believe love happens once only in KJo movies. In reality, it is the very element of our existence and it keeps happening till we find our soul mate (even after that, in numerous cases). But, for some strange reason, they felt threatened by my "goodness" and walked out of my life, throwing in the reason that I was "too good" for them. And I guess, I have been really "too good" with them which is why they did what they did. In the case of the first one, it was all the more true because apparently, he was cheating on me for 6 long years and though I had a hint, my "goodness" stopped me from believing the truth. I have always believed that if you are good to someone, it comes naturally to him to be good to you. And I have been proved wrong time and again. In the case of the last (actually I'm confused if he is ex or current anyway...), I was/am "too good" for his family. They feel threatened that a family of averages like theirs would not be able to "adjust" with a highly-educated, decently successful, averagely good-looking, fiercely independent girl like me.

But I guess this is another one of those I-too-have-faced-this situation.

However, it is the friends who have really disappointed me. Because at times, despite not wanting, I have always ended up doing way too much good to each one of my friends only to be thought of as a moron. As harsh as it may sound, but it is true that if you care for someone, love him/her, he/she tends to take you for granted and not value you as much he/she should. Same has happened to me in every friendship may be because I get too attached to people I care for. And if I ever expressed my feelings, I was told that this happens because I am "too good".

Employers are next in line. None of my former employers wanted to let me go, because they had a consistently hard-working, non-complaining, sincere ass who would work despite anything and everything because they said I was "too good". The current employers, too, leave no chance to exploit my creative genius and make me do 3 other no-good-losers' work for the same reason. As for prospective employers, they get all excited after looking at my work but express their inability to "fit" me in their scheme of people (baddies I believe). I have met at least 125 such people in the recent past who said I was "too good" for their organisation. 

And this "goodness" has always kept my colleagues on their toes, who slowly start hating me for being the odd "good" one out. Their insecurity and fear about exposing their ugly side makes them do so.

And though I want to write a lot more, I am tired of thinking about the number of times I have suffered in my life because of my "goodness". 

Also, I feel this post is crappy!