Mysterious Me!

I have faced a peculiar problem since eternity (oh well, ever since I can remember!). I have always a hard time convincing people that they don't understand me, especially the kind who pass a judgment on one's personality in a day's time.

How can they know me if I don't even know myself???

Some people say I'm a chatterbox, but at times, just hear mono-syllables from me. Others think I'm too quiet and are confused when they happen to meet me in one of those moods when I can chat the whole day long on anything and everything under the sun.

Oh and then there are the oh-so-wise ones who'll say matter-of-factly, "You're an Ambivert" which sounds more like a word for a species that can live in water as well as on the land.

This is just about the verbal part. People do not even hesitate to dissect others' personalities. In fact, I have come to believe that they simply love doing it.

Some out of this category say I'm too aggressive yet they manage to see the softer, gentler side sooner than expected; others find me mild enough to rub the wrong side of me only to call forth the worst. There are even those who feel and say that I'm not normal - my refusal to take their volley of insults lying down makes them say so, at least that is what I believe.

Many are even sacred of me not because I have Dracula teeth but because I don't tolerate injustice and have the guts to raise my voice against anyone and everyone who tries to act smart. On the other hand, I am an absolute sweetheart for some.

I am hot-headed at times, and extremely calm and composed at others - a trait that creates massive confusion and fear among my near and dear ones and all those I know. It even confuses me!

One thing that almost always gets me into trouble is the fact that people feel insecure in my presence. And no, I don’t have criminal tendencies. My confidence, my self-belief, my conviction in my abilities and my in-your-face honesty act as repellents for those who lack similar traits.

There are some people who say all sorts of things about me and hold varied opinions but for me, they do not even exist. Among other things these people think I am, are: snobbish, hoity-toity, thick-headed, intellectual, immature, mature beyond my years, sensible, smart, fool… the list is endless (courtesy: thinkers).

But there is a very special class of people who are my complete darlings and can afford to say/ do anything without ruffling much feathers. Such is the affinity between them and me. Yet, what baffles me is the fact that even they do no understand me the way they should.

In fact, I have always found myself at the receiving end because of this unsolved mystery of my personality. Family, friends, relatives, acquaintances, colleagues... almost everyone ends up misunderstanding me! And this leaves me exasperated to say the least.

So... day in and day out I go about taking blames. Some pierce the heart while others fly past without making much noise. Compliments in such times are like band-aids for the wounded heart. 

But I do feel that I need to share what I feel more often and people should express what they should. I should be more tolerant to how they should be more understanding. And the list goes on... It's the same each time.