Fasting For Mom!

Today is Karwa Chauth - a day very special for married women, especially North Indians. On this day, every married/ betrothed woman observes fast from sunrise to moonrise and prays for the long life of her husband/ fiancé. She neither has a morsel of food nor a drop of water. She also dresses in her best, colours her palms with heena, wears bangles, dons the proverbial "16 shringar", meets friends and relatives and basks in the glory of her immense love for her life-partner  and enjoys the attention and affection of her man. In many communities and sometimes, even out of personal choice, many unmarried women/ girls, too, fast. While some of them fast for their boyfriend's well-being, others do it to pray for a happy married life ahead and her dream man as her husband.   

This is indeed a very unique way to celebrate love. And a very beautiful one too though over the years, the trend has changed - many women do not observe fast and in numerous cases, both, men and women fast to express mutual love, care and admiration for each other.

Well, this post isn't about Karwa Chauth. It is about ME! And how, despite not being committed, nor wanting to get into the wedlock, I still am fasting. Not because I want a great married life ahead nor because I am praying to get my dream man. But because I love my mom. Strange!?! Isn't it? You will say yes, extremely! But I say nayyyyyyyyyyy! 

I am fasting because my mom wants me to. She wants me to observe the fast and like the zillions of unmarried-but-desperate-to-get-married girls, to pray for a speedy marriage and a good husband. She even wanted me to get my palms heena-ed which I did, for her happiness.

Actually, I could just not say NO to my darling mom - who loves me unconditionally and despite my million flaws, who cares for me and wants to see me settle down soon with a "loving, caring man, who would make me the happiest girl in the world with his love and care". I could just not break her heart by refusing to observe the fast and crashing all her hopes and aspirations, which anyway I am going to do by refusing to get married. And anyway, if me observing a fast can give her boundless happiness, then why not? I am not going to die if I do not eat and drink  Yet, I feel strange... very strange. With no reason and no subject, I am observing a ritual that is so holy, so pious and so special for those in love. I feel stupid, weird, almost lost. Why am I doing this? For my mom - Love You Mumma!!