Of Dreams, The Dead and Death...

I dream... dream a lot, of The Dead… Dead Relatives, to be precise! Those who I have seen while they were alive and even those who I have not seen, just heard of. And I don't just see Dead. They talk to me, laugh with me, cry with me and worry for me! Yes, that is a fact! 

The most frequent visitors to my dream world are my paternal grandfather and grandmother, both of whom we lost years ago. While it has been nearly 24 years that my grandpa left us, my grandma has been gone for over a decade now.

Others who come calling in my sleep include my maternal grandmother, my dad's grandmother and uncle (who I had never seen in my lifetime), my own cousin, my mom's uncle and aunt and sundry other relatives. 

The most amazing part is that once I wake up, I am able to paint a vivid word picture of the exact sequences of events and even the people I saw in my dream, including the Dead that I had never seen in my life. 

I have, on more than one occasions, seen my dad's uncle in my dreams. He had died long before I was born and we do not even possess any picture of him. Next morning, I could describe clearly, his body type, his hair, skin colour, the kind and colour of clothes and footwear he was wearing. That dad was shocked beyond words, is an understatement. 

This is just one incident. There are dozens of the kind. The most common, rather recurring dream perhaps is wherein my grandmom is smiling, laughing and joking around amid a crowd of relatives and friends gathered to celebrate a happy occasion, which seems to be a wedding. But I'm never able to tell clearly what occasion it is. Some people say my grandma, from up above somewhere, is eager to see me married, hence the dream. But I disagree. Because she was once celebrating my dad's wedding even as my mom looked on, amused. 

In another one, I saw my cousin (who we lost 3 years ago) celebrating my engagement ceremony with his friend. That he had suggested his friend as a prospective groom for me, might have a link here but I'm not sure.

I even had a dream of a family celebration (wedding perhaps) wherein I was told that my grandfather had come back to the earth just to be able to be with me for a day. The fact that I miss him like hell and wish to spend some time with him, definitely has a connection with this one, because he passed away when I was too young and I almost have nil memories of him! Once, on a dreadfully gloomy night, grandpa had come again in my dream. He was sad too, just like me and asked me to smile, sing, laugh and be happy because he could not see me like that. Next morning was a lot better and I smiled for him but could feel his pain which I had given him by being so sad and depressed.

At times, I see my maternal granny as a ghost, trying to scare my sister and me. This might have a connection with my childhood days when granny used to scare us about a ghost coming to eat us (sister and me) both if we did not drink our cuppa hot milk!

And the list of such dreams just goes on. They have become a regular feature in my life. And they leave me disturbed for days, weeks, months together.

But hey! The scariest part is yet to come. The Dead, at times, even predict deaths in my dreams! Scared!?! Well, I have been trying hard to find a word scarier than "scared" for long now because "scared" does not aptly express the horror that I feel when I sit down to analyze my dreams.

My grandfather once came in my dream and told me that he will come on a particular day to take my granny along, since he had been feeling lonely. I mentioned this dream to my parents who did not take it too seriously. But to our astonishment and utter shock, my granny passed away just around the time my grand-dad had mentioned in my dream. That was the first time such a thing ever happened with me and I was completely shaken. 

Well, this is just a part of my plight. My real beef is being able to foresee deaths - of people I know and even of those I do not have the remotest of connections with.

I saw in my dream and pronounced the death of my maternal aunt's mother-in-law and she died exactly on the day I had "predicted". I could foresee the death of my grandfather's closest friend and cousin - my Chhote Dadaji, as I fondly addressed him. I had also felt and expressed in hushed tones, to my dad, my fear of having sensed the death of my paternal aunt's father. He, too, passed away into eternity on the day I had seen. 

However, it was the legendary Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw's death that shocked me the most. He had no relation to me whatsoever but it was at least a month prior to his death that I could see the D-Day and that too, not in any dream, but in awakened reality. I shared the information with a friend who asked me to relax, citing probable incidents that might have provoked the thoughts of the greatest Indian soldier of all times. But when the news of FM Manekshaw's death came, my friend and I were shaken beyond words. From dreams, the predictions had spilled over to waking hours!! 

I was stunned, and still am!! Even scared of sharing my thoughts with people around me.

P.S: This post has been penned after fellow blogger and dear friend Manju insisted that I do so. Manju feels that my blog buddies and other bloggers might be able to comprehend the situation and suggest ways to deal with the trauma that these dreams bring along. She also feels I should see a psychotherapist...I really dunno!!